Loving in silence

I chose to love you in silence, for in silence I find no rejection. I chose to love you in your loneliness, for in your loneliness no one owns you, but me ....

Current state of my heart & mind

I may say I'm just ok...

I may smile all thru the way...

I may laugh hard as if I'm not worrying...

I may talk a lot as if I know what I'm saying...

And if one time you'd get to see, what's really inside of me,

why I try to be funny and crazy, Please dont ask why...just please SMILE with me.

The Letter (A touching piece of work)

One day, I will disappear completely. The letters will mean nothing. The world will get tired of me. You will get tired of me. I will get tired of myself, and I…and I will never get tired of you.

For you..there will be NO endings. I will say your name over and over like a refrain. My prayer to no one. then I’ll be a flower, the one you’ll never pick and will endure the breathless waiting until boundaries disappear.With nothing to do, I make new constellations images of you as I remember. Dancing, sitting, walking. There are stars from a different view, but still I see nothing but you. Unfurling like a flower, swiveling like a leaf. I once watched you sleep beside me. It was dark then, but the darkness is deeper now. Tonight in my dreams I will see you. The love of my life, clothed only in light.

Like a kite, I’ve given myself up to the wind. I made friends with the sun. Confuse the birds with strange and distant voyages, but it is you that ties the thread and holds me down. Like a kite, I will forver hold your hand and with a burning human longing in your hands, I surrender....

"My life started when I loved you and that’s how I want it to end.”


*** The post came from JEKAY's Blog; whoever originally wrote this must have been my soulmate! ****

A Love Letter (Circa 2004)

Mahal,

Hi! I hope everythings ok with you this past fewdays.If ever you would like to know what hashappened to me, well everythings ok - I just damn MISS you so much and yes - Im hating it...hatingit coz' its beyond me and I have nothing to do but to think about you every second of every day...But missing you is not the purpose of thisletter.Im writting you this letter to tell you thingst hat is on my mind right now.Things that is clogging my psyche for the past weeks.Thoughts thats have been playing in my mind which causes a mixture of joy and disturbance.Its been a few weeks now, and almost every givend ay that we have the opportunity - we meet, have breakfast, go out for lunch,go out with myfriends, stay in your place or hang-out in my apartment. These moments are always full of sweetness,laughters, exchange of sweet nothings and loads of stories about ourselves or just play naughty with each other. All of these things although quit short has already curved a niche within me.Strange it may seem coz' its never been like this in my past few relationships.Its been a long time since I was really serious with someone and honestly, Its always hard for me to trust and give my love to anyone.I have been into a lot of short term flings inthe past - so many that I honestly dont even remember their names, or even the places or circumstances why I have met them. I also had my lionshare of one-night-stands and constant bedbuddies in the past, people who shared with me afew momemts of unheralded passion and bliss yet,so few if none really got into my fancy.Most of them are just like your ordinary spurr-of-the-moment just to statisfy ones need at that time.Honesty, and I hope you'll forgive me, in the beggining I thought your just one of those people.I never really knew that everything will be different - that everything will change when I've met you.Friends who knows me and who have already met you said that it would be foolish to fall in love much less to be serious with you. They say you are young - still very much impulsive,very much adventerous and that we are imcompatible in manyways.I can only say that there maybe alot ofthings that we would be hearing from other peoplein the future but be rest assured that whateverthey say it would never really mean to me for I only care for you.They would never know how much love Im feeling from you.You always make me very special whenever were together, all those moments I shared with you always lingeres in my thoughts which makes it harder not to be with you.

I thank you for bringing me back faith in love -love that goes beyond the norms of this society.Thank you for giving me hope - hope that gives me streangth to move into this world full of namesless and faceless people who cares for nothing but themselves and their personal gain.Thank you for making me find peace - peace that once was mine and was lost in this savage garden called life but, now because of you I have found once more... and now I am in perfect harmony with my innerself.Thank you for your love - thank you for letting me love you!



( I've written the letter above April 2004 for someone I've almost though to spend life forver...)


*** I found this at the sent items on my email.... I just thought of posting it here as a memorial of the love I had for him then ... ****

MEN - What and Who they really are! (from Oprah)

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is
Don't stay because you think "it will get better"
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women..

He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up..

Never let a man know everything.* He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior.* Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...
Even if he has more education or in a better job.

Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...
Compromise is two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships. ..
There is nothing cute about baggage...
Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...
A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. ..
Look for someone complimentary. ...not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted

Never move into his mother's house.. Never co-sign for a man.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.*
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful: Dr. Phill

You should know that:
You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one.

They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices.
Make the right one.

The Players Down Fall

I wanna be the person who makes the PLAYER fall

I wanna be the person who makes him drool after all...

I wanna be the person who shakes his score and quit his GAME

To stick with ME to the end and draw HEARTS around MY name...

Wishing...

For once ...

I wanna be the reason why he cut his hair just because I told him so...

The reason why he eats something just because its my favorite food...

The reason why he buys a shirt because I have the same color...

The reason why he falls asleep while holding his phone at night...

The reason why he loves something he used to hate coz' I love it...

And lastly, I wanna be the reason why he smiles and laugh...

I wanna be the "because" of his ever "why's"....