Dear Bestfriend,
I have been thinking about you. i know that i have not talked to you since the last time you and i unexpectedly met. remember that time? We were both in a crowded party amongst many nameless and faceless people that time. You informed me that you are happily getting married. and i am glad for you. i truly am. but as we spoke some more, it became apparent that although your future marriage is seem to be going well - you are restless. you have this undying urge to go beyond the person you are right now. your confidence may have waned a bit but it is steadily coming back. you said that there are those who perceive you as a doormat. and you also informed me that you want to strangle their accursed necks, though not literally. I saw the life in your eyes and it was like the past all over again. I have fallen in love with you once more. i love you - despite your mistakes, dispite your angst, despite the folly that you sometimes display. bear this inside you, i love you. i truly really love you.
Darwin
Friday, January 27, 2006
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Just Keep It Simple!
It really takes two to tango.Thats the thing i keep on reminding myself on how love really goes.words can really be deceiving especially in the queer scene.infatuation always mislead those people on what true love really means.
We often mistakenly feel dat its love which struck us.but in reality, we just love the feeling of being in love.Its easy to find someone u like, but its hard to find that connection uve been looking for.Im so jaded with love right now.
Too jaded that i become so pessimistic about it.i have a few crushes but none of which
did prosper.i dont make the first move.i hate the feeling of rejection, who does anyway?
sex is so casual for me, its like brushing your teeth 3 times a day or walking inside a fastfood - FAST and EASY!
I have a bunch of friends- REAL friends who have been with me for ages, no need for one now.
money? still broke yet for sure near my fortune. u do some puffs. a couple of bottles. some tiny tabs. snort some lines.then ull feel a temporary contentment.mingle with some. flirt a few. hump one after another.
then ull throw them in the hamper anyway.just think of loving urself.the best remedy to unsolicited loneliness.
just one more thing, "SELFISHNESS is a virtue" just keep it simple.
We often mistakenly feel dat its love which struck us.but in reality, we just love the feeling of being in love.Its easy to find someone u like, but its hard to find that connection uve been looking for.Im so jaded with love right now.
Too jaded that i become so pessimistic about it.i have a few crushes but none of which
did prosper.i dont make the first move.i hate the feeling of rejection, who does anyway?
sex is so casual for me, its like brushing your teeth 3 times a day or walking inside a fastfood - FAST and EASY!
I have a bunch of friends- REAL friends who have been with me for ages, no need for one now.
money? still broke yet for sure near my fortune. u do some puffs. a couple of bottles. some tiny tabs. snort some lines.then ull feel a temporary contentment.mingle with some. flirt a few. hump one after another.
then ull throw them in the hamper anyway.just think of loving urself.the best remedy to unsolicited loneliness.
just one more thing, "SELFISHNESS is a virtue" just keep it simple.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
In a few hours from now a brand new year will start, and hopefully it would bring me better opportunities, new friends and a better perspective in life!
2005 was a very difficult year for me, a lot of hardships and disappointments with my career and with my personal life,eventhough It was also a year to know who my real friends are and also to meet some wonderful people and enjoy some really fun moments...
Again, I hope and pray that 2006 would be a BETTER and BIGGER year for me, I wish that unlike the past years, this comming year would bring me more prosperity, wealth and good health and better realtionships with my family, friends and hopefully someone who I can complement life with!
Lastly, I also pray that this comming year 2006 would make me have a better relationship with GOD.
2005 was a very difficult year for me, a lot of hardships and disappointments with my career and with my personal life,eventhough It was also a year to know who my real friends are and also to meet some wonderful people and enjoy some really fun moments...
Again, I hope and pray that 2006 would be a BETTER and BIGGER year for me, I wish that unlike the past years, this comming year would bring me more prosperity, wealth and good health and better realtionships with my family, friends and hopefully someone who I can complement life with!
Lastly, I also pray that this comming year 2006 would make me have a better relationship with GOD.
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Looking for HIM...
His smile dazzles me and the walls mock us, calling out the improbability of love. There aren’t words to make light of this chaos and all of his promises are suffocating my will to try. I have lent wings to our madness and naively coaxed it to fly. Now it flutters helplessly mere inches above our outstretched fingers and mine lack the dexterity to grasp it.
Today is his, and I wish for nothing more than to occupy that simple space beside him as he lies silently awaiting the dawn. I want my capable hands to know the soft skin that stretches over the entirety of his body. I want to kiss every freckle and name every birthmark. I want to know every inch of his body as deeply as I know the dark corners of his soul. I want to know what his pale skin looks like under the moon and how he’ll smile when my fingertips gingerly brush over the tender areas he’s spent so long describing to me. I want to feel his hair on my face as he claims my lips as his own, I want to touch that hair, just to be sure that it’s real. I want to feel his weight on my body, I want to feel him. I want to feel this passion build until we finally find release in my bed beneath the moon
Today is his, and I wish for nothing more than to occupy that simple space beside him as he lies silently awaiting the dawn. I want my capable hands to know the soft skin that stretches over the entirety of his body. I want to kiss every freckle and name every birthmark. I want to know every inch of his body as deeply as I know the dark corners of his soul. I want to know what his pale skin looks like under the moon and how he’ll smile when my fingertips gingerly brush over the tender areas he’s spent so long describing to me. I want to feel his hair on my face as he claims my lips as his own, I want to touch that hair, just to be sure that it’s real. I want to feel his weight on my body, I want to feel him. I want to feel this passion build until we finally find release in my bed beneath the moon
A Friend that I Almost LOVED!
So many questions float around inside my head when I'm around you. Am I allowed to love you? Is it safe? I won't get hurt, will I? Did you know you're exactly what I wished for? .... There are many others that continue to build themselves in my head and I think of all the possible answers behind them. I'm really starting to like you ( Well , I started realizing that since early this year). I'm really starting to feel you. When our hands touch I can feel so much positive energy pulsing through your finger tips. When I hold onto your shirt, I never want to let go. .....But I'm so scared.... The last guy I was with would've killed me if I ever got attached. He would've ripped my heart out as a warning. Back then I had cut off all of my fingers so I couldn't be tempted hold onto him. When I finally felt safe away from him, I bandaged my fingers back to my hands. They're still healing and I'm trying to hold onto you as tight as I can... As long as you let me hold on. I miss being away from you.... You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm almost at the point where I feel like I'm falling in love. I just hope that you'll catch me is all....
You know who your ...dont worry...You always told me that you see your future with you and me together...
You know who your ...dont worry...You always told me that you see your future with you and me together...
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Remembering Him...
10pm , It was Friday Night - last day of a long week of work , work and work. Like any ordinary day that passes by any normal people who strives to live amidst this cycle we called life.
As I was waiting for my ride to go to my office, I remember that at this exact time, exactly a year ago I was with someone under the blanket of stars in the cool breez of the night. I remember it very clearly even up to now - him and me locked in each others embrace whispering sweet nothings and making what seems then undying promises to one another.
Yes, at this age of modern science and modern societies insensibilities, its still in our nature to be hopless romantics and mushy when it comes to expressing our love to someone we really care for. i've always believe that not only is love the most powerful force in existence but it is in reality human nature to love and give love.
Remembering how I was then with him brought back deep pains in my heart. Its like every thought that I make in regards to our moments together flood tears in my cheeks for It was with him that I found love - and it was with him that I lost it.
Its really hard remembering how it used to be.How much a person will mean to you in just a very short period of time. How one can be so very much in love with someone. Those were our days -
It's over. He's gone.
Which leads me on thinking, Why do we have to part while the love is still there? Why do we have to suffer? Why do we have to cry when somebody bids goodbye? Why do beginnings have an end? Why do we have to meet only to lose in the end?
There are questions left unanswered, words left unsaid, letters left unread, poems left undone, songs left unsung, love left unexpressed, promises left unfulfilled.
In a relationship, I realized that one of the hardest things to do is saying goodbye and letting go. It is as hard as breaking a crystal because you'll never know when you will be able to pick up the pieces again. More often than not, they who go, feel not the pain of parting: it is they who stay behind that suffer, because they are left with memories of a love that was meant to be, a love that was. This was the pain I have to bear.
But I've learned through experience that at the beginning and at the end of a relationship, we are embarrassed to find ourselves alone. Unfair as it may seem, but that's the way love goes. That's the drama, the bittersweet and the risk of falling in love. After all, nothing is constant but change. Everything will eventually come to its end without us knowing when, without us knowing how, without us even knowing why. And we must forget not because we have to but because we have to.
In letting go, sorrows come not as a single spy but in batallion. It seems that everywhere you go, everything you do, every song you hear, every turn of your head, every move of your body, every beat of your heart, every blink of your eye and every breath you take always reminds you of him. It's like a stab of a knife, a torture in the night. Funny how the whole world becomes depopulated when only one person is missing. Just imagine, there are billion people on earth and yet it seems you feel lonely and empty without the other.
I don't know if it's worth calling an art, but letting go entails special skills sparkled with a considerable space and time. Time heals all wounds but it takes a little push on our part. Acceptance plays a part. Not all love stories end with "...and they live happily ever after."
Sometimes we have to part because of circumstances beyond our control. We have to suffer if it would mean happiness for others. We have to cry to temporarily let go of the pains. Every beginning has its end like every dawn has its dusk. It's something we can't control, something we had to live up.
It's over. He's gone. But life has to go on. Goodbye doesn't always mean forever. There will always be a place and time where questions will be answered, words will be spoken, letters will be read, poems will be recited in the night, songs will be sung in harmony, love will be expressed in solitude and promises will be fulfilled. Somewhere. Somehow. Someday.
As I was waiting for my ride to go to my office, I remember that at this exact time, exactly a year ago I was with someone under the blanket of stars in the cool breez of the night. I remember it very clearly even up to now - him and me locked in each others embrace whispering sweet nothings and making what seems then undying promises to one another.
Yes, at this age of modern science and modern societies insensibilities, its still in our nature to be hopless romantics and mushy when it comes to expressing our love to someone we really care for. i've always believe that not only is love the most powerful force in existence but it is in reality human nature to love and give love.
Remembering how I was then with him brought back deep pains in my heart. Its like every thought that I make in regards to our moments together flood tears in my cheeks for It was with him that I found love - and it was with him that I lost it.
Its really hard remembering how it used to be.How much a person will mean to you in just a very short period of time. How one can be so very much in love with someone. Those were our days -
It's over. He's gone.
Which leads me on thinking, Why do we have to part while the love is still there? Why do we have to suffer? Why do we have to cry when somebody bids goodbye? Why do beginnings have an end? Why do we have to meet only to lose in the end?
There are questions left unanswered, words left unsaid, letters left unread, poems left undone, songs left unsung, love left unexpressed, promises left unfulfilled.
In a relationship, I realized that one of the hardest things to do is saying goodbye and letting go. It is as hard as breaking a crystal because you'll never know when you will be able to pick up the pieces again. More often than not, they who go, feel not the pain of parting: it is they who stay behind that suffer, because they are left with memories of a love that was meant to be, a love that was. This was the pain I have to bear.
But I've learned through experience that at the beginning and at the end of a relationship, we are embarrassed to find ourselves alone. Unfair as it may seem, but that's the way love goes. That's the drama, the bittersweet and the risk of falling in love. After all, nothing is constant but change. Everything will eventually come to its end without us knowing when, without us knowing how, without us even knowing why. And we must forget not because we have to but because we have to.
In letting go, sorrows come not as a single spy but in batallion. It seems that everywhere you go, everything you do, every song you hear, every turn of your head, every move of your body, every beat of your heart, every blink of your eye and every breath you take always reminds you of him. It's like a stab of a knife, a torture in the night. Funny how the whole world becomes depopulated when only one person is missing. Just imagine, there are billion people on earth and yet it seems you feel lonely and empty without the other.
I don't know if it's worth calling an art, but letting go entails special skills sparkled with a considerable space and time. Time heals all wounds but it takes a little push on our part. Acceptance plays a part. Not all love stories end with "...and they live happily ever after."
Sometimes we have to part because of circumstances beyond our control. We have to suffer if it would mean happiness for others. We have to cry to temporarily let go of the pains. Every beginning has its end like every dawn has its dusk. It's something we can't control, something we had to live up.
It's over. He's gone. But life has to go on. Goodbye doesn't always mean forever. There will always be a place and time where questions will be answered, words will be spoken, letters will be read, poems will be recited in the night, songs will be sung in harmony, love will be expressed in solitude and promises will be fulfilled. Somewhere. Somehow. Someday.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Thoughts about being Single in the Metro...
Picture this, Im in my mid 20's, a graduate of one of the biggest and oldest state univeristy in the country not to mention I graduated with full honors - cum laude,and currently working with one of the top fortune 100 multinational companies in the metro's elite bussiness community and, yes Im living life to the fullest by savoring freedom and independence....
All of my friends adore me,most of your enemies envies how I live my life and because of good genes and linage I may proudly say that Im simply cut above the rest in terms of physical attributes.
But - My biggest stumbling block is the harsh reality that I am still SINGLE in this age where having sex and having a relationship is as simple as like getting burger on your favirite fastfood joint - FAST and EASY!Even with this statistics on getting laid and having someone to be mushy with its really quit mind-boggling for me to know that with all the billions of people in this planet yet NO one seem to fit the shoe to be my one and only beloved!
Yes, I do have my lion share on the flirting game, I have had loads of time to test my prowess when it comes to dating guys but why the heck am I still alone and single?
Is there anyone out there who could catch my fancy and break my hibernation on love? Help me please!
Picture this, Im in my mid 20's, a graduate of one of the biggest and oldest state univeristy in the country not to mention I graduated with full honors - cum laude,and currently working with one of the top fortune 100 multinational companies in the metro's elite bussiness community and, yes Im living life to the fullest by savoring freedom and independence....
All of my friends adore me,most of your enemies envies how I live my life and because of good genes and linage I may proudly say that Im simply cut above the rest in terms of physical attributes.
But - My biggest stumbling block is the harsh reality that I am still SINGLE in this age where having sex and having a relationship is as simple as like getting burger on your favirite fastfood joint - FAST and EASY!Even with this statistics on getting laid and having someone to be mushy with its really quit mind-boggling for me to know that with all the billions of people in this planet yet NO one seem to fit the shoe to be my one and only beloved!
Yes, I do have my lion share on the flirting game, I have had loads of time to test my prowess when it comes to dating guys but why the heck am I still alone and single?
Is there anyone out there who could catch my fancy and break my hibernation on love? Help me please!
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