I thought that my life would remain as simple as an empty shell.. i thought that everything's gonna be boring.. i thought life means problems and hurts and pains and tears and goodbyes. I was never happy.. yeah I did fell inlove with a couple of men before. but all of 'em just broke my heart .. even my bestfriend did when we tried to make our relationship deeper. It was really painful and that pain made me senseless.. i got tired of gettin' hurt.. so naive.. then i started to fail,.. i even became miserable and drowned into the tears that i shed. The faces of those men who hurt me kept on flashing in my dumbest dreams... the good and the bad memories flew everywhere with me. I almost died out of frustration and depression.. I tries my best to keep myself busy by focusing on my family, professional career and my spiritual growth... I locked myself up in my own world and shun any sorts of social activity that would remind me of my past ... Yes, I felt relieved (somehow) and I moved on (somehow).. but my whole being does not only survive with spiritual, social, and intellectual things... I am a real human being... A BEAUTIFUL, SMART and LOVING person who still needs to fall inlove and need to be loved.. Yes, my life before was full of EMPTINESS.. that WAS emptiness.
i woke up one day, falling inlove again, with a very SPECIAL man.. Tha very first man that I felt EXACT CONTENTMENT. No doubt! I've been inlove but I never felt this security before. .. He is an ANGEL - my own ANGEL.. I thought that he is an impossible man but I appreciated more the challenge of getting involved and falling inlove with a man that you never dreamed about. .. a total opposite of those that i loved before.. he is not like any typical boyfriend that will treat their guy like prince. He treats me like a bestfriend.. he treats me like he has nothing but me.. he never makes me feel that my sacrifices would be in vain. He makes me feel important. He does not dream about me but dreams with me.. He never becomes untrue to me. He always shows the real him. No reservations.. He gradually proves that he's responsible and worth loving for. He calls me BABY and I call him HONEY and it sounds really sweet when he utters my name.
There he was my REAL Boyfriend. I really feel the tears now in my eyes.. Thank God I really am happy now.. there really is a rainbow after the rain. I aint saying that our relationship is perfect,, but for me,, this is true happiness,, i feel no doubt.. no hesitations,, no uncertainties.. I am sure that given the chance I will marry this guy next year. I will be the his partner in life, have our own children and will grow old with Him.. I love you Alvin .. the only man outta my expectations - my love ...my ANGEL!!!
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