His smile dazzles me and the walls mock us, calling out the improbability of love. There aren’t words to make light of this chaos and all of his promises are suffocating my will to try. I have lent wings to our madness and naively coaxed it to fly. Now it flutters helplessly mere inches above our outstretched fingers and mine lack the dexterity to grasp it.
Today is his, and I wish for nothing more than to occupy that simple space beside him as he lies silently awaiting the dawn. I want my capable hands to know the soft skin that stretches over the entirety of his body. I want to kiss every freckle and name every birthmark. I want to know every inch of his body as deeply as I know the dark corners of his soul. I want to know what his pale skin looks like under the moon and how he’ll smile when my fingertips gingerly brush over the tender areas he’s spent so long describing to me. I want to feel his hair on my face as he claims my lips as his own, I want to touch that hair, just to be sure that it’s real. I want to feel his weight on my body, I want to feel him. I want to feel this passion build until we finally find release in my bed beneath the moon
Saturday, October 01, 2005
A Friend that I Almost LOVED!
So many questions float around inside my head when I'm around you. Am I allowed to love you? Is it safe? I won't get hurt, will I? Did you know you're exactly what I wished for? .... There are many others that continue to build themselves in my head and I think of all the possible answers behind them. I'm really starting to like you ( Well , I started realizing that since early this year). I'm really starting to feel you. When our hands touch I can feel so much positive energy pulsing through your finger tips. When I hold onto your shirt, I never want to let go. .....But I'm so scared.... The last guy I was with would've killed me if I ever got attached. He would've ripped my heart out as a warning. Back then I had cut off all of my fingers so I couldn't be tempted hold onto him. When I finally felt safe away from him, I bandaged my fingers back to my hands. They're still healing and I'm trying to hold onto you as tight as I can... As long as you let me hold on. I miss being away from you.... You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm almost at the point where I feel like I'm falling in love. I just hope that you'll catch me is all....
You know who your ...dont worry...You always told me that you see your future with you and me together...
You know who your ...dont worry...You always told me that you see your future with you and me together...
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Remembering Him...
10pm , It was Friday Night - last day of a long week of work , work and work. Like any ordinary day that passes by any normal people who strives to live amidst this cycle we called life.
As I was waiting for my ride to go to my office, I remember that at this exact time, exactly a year ago I was with someone under the blanket of stars in the cool breez of the night. I remember it very clearly even up to now - him and me locked in each others embrace whispering sweet nothings and making what seems then undying promises to one another.
Yes, at this age of modern science and modern societies insensibilities, its still in our nature to be hopless romantics and mushy when it comes to expressing our love to someone we really care for. i've always believe that not only is love the most powerful force in existence but it is in reality human nature to love and give love.
Remembering how I was then with him brought back deep pains in my heart. Its like every thought that I make in regards to our moments together flood tears in my cheeks for It was with him that I found love - and it was with him that I lost it.
Its really hard remembering how it used to be.How much a person will mean to you in just a very short period of time. How one can be so very much in love with someone. Those were our days -
It's over. He's gone.
Which leads me on thinking, Why do we have to part while the love is still there? Why do we have to suffer? Why do we have to cry when somebody bids goodbye? Why do beginnings have an end? Why do we have to meet only to lose in the end?
There are questions left unanswered, words left unsaid, letters left unread, poems left undone, songs left unsung, love left unexpressed, promises left unfulfilled.
In a relationship, I realized that one of the hardest things to do is saying goodbye and letting go. It is as hard as breaking a crystal because you'll never know when you will be able to pick up the pieces again. More often than not, they who go, feel not the pain of parting: it is they who stay behind that suffer, because they are left with memories of a love that was meant to be, a love that was. This was the pain I have to bear.
But I've learned through experience that at the beginning and at the end of a relationship, we are embarrassed to find ourselves alone. Unfair as it may seem, but that's the way love goes. That's the drama, the bittersweet and the risk of falling in love. After all, nothing is constant but change. Everything will eventually come to its end without us knowing when, without us knowing how, without us even knowing why. And we must forget not because we have to but because we have to.
In letting go, sorrows come not as a single spy but in batallion. It seems that everywhere you go, everything you do, every song you hear, every turn of your head, every move of your body, every beat of your heart, every blink of your eye and every breath you take always reminds you of him. It's like a stab of a knife, a torture in the night. Funny how the whole world becomes depopulated when only one person is missing. Just imagine, there are billion people on earth and yet it seems you feel lonely and empty without the other.
I don't know if it's worth calling an art, but letting go entails special skills sparkled with a considerable space and time. Time heals all wounds but it takes a little push on our part. Acceptance plays a part. Not all love stories end with "...and they live happily ever after."
Sometimes we have to part because of circumstances beyond our control. We have to suffer if it would mean happiness for others. We have to cry to temporarily let go of the pains. Every beginning has its end like every dawn has its dusk. It's something we can't control, something we had to live up.
It's over. He's gone. But life has to go on. Goodbye doesn't always mean forever. There will always be a place and time where questions will be answered, words will be spoken, letters will be read, poems will be recited in the night, songs will be sung in harmony, love will be expressed in solitude and promises will be fulfilled. Somewhere. Somehow. Someday.
As I was waiting for my ride to go to my office, I remember that at this exact time, exactly a year ago I was with someone under the blanket of stars in the cool breez of the night. I remember it very clearly even up to now - him and me locked in each others embrace whispering sweet nothings and making what seems then undying promises to one another.
Yes, at this age of modern science and modern societies insensibilities, its still in our nature to be hopless romantics and mushy when it comes to expressing our love to someone we really care for. i've always believe that not only is love the most powerful force in existence but it is in reality human nature to love and give love.
Remembering how I was then with him brought back deep pains in my heart. Its like every thought that I make in regards to our moments together flood tears in my cheeks for It was with him that I found love - and it was with him that I lost it.
Its really hard remembering how it used to be.How much a person will mean to you in just a very short period of time. How one can be so very much in love with someone. Those were our days -
It's over. He's gone.
Which leads me on thinking, Why do we have to part while the love is still there? Why do we have to suffer? Why do we have to cry when somebody bids goodbye? Why do beginnings have an end? Why do we have to meet only to lose in the end?
There are questions left unanswered, words left unsaid, letters left unread, poems left undone, songs left unsung, love left unexpressed, promises left unfulfilled.
In a relationship, I realized that one of the hardest things to do is saying goodbye and letting go. It is as hard as breaking a crystal because you'll never know when you will be able to pick up the pieces again. More often than not, they who go, feel not the pain of parting: it is they who stay behind that suffer, because they are left with memories of a love that was meant to be, a love that was. This was the pain I have to bear.
But I've learned through experience that at the beginning and at the end of a relationship, we are embarrassed to find ourselves alone. Unfair as it may seem, but that's the way love goes. That's the drama, the bittersweet and the risk of falling in love. After all, nothing is constant but change. Everything will eventually come to its end without us knowing when, without us knowing how, without us even knowing why. And we must forget not because we have to but because we have to.
In letting go, sorrows come not as a single spy but in batallion. It seems that everywhere you go, everything you do, every song you hear, every turn of your head, every move of your body, every beat of your heart, every blink of your eye and every breath you take always reminds you of him. It's like a stab of a knife, a torture in the night. Funny how the whole world becomes depopulated when only one person is missing. Just imagine, there are billion people on earth and yet it seems you feel lonely and empty without the other.
I don't know if it's worth calling an art, but letting go entails special skills sparkled with a considerable space and time. Time heals all wounds but it takes a little push on our part. Acceptance plays a part. Not all love stories end with "...and they live happily ever after."
Sometimes we have to part because of circumstances beyond our control. We have to suffer if it would mean happiness for others. We have to cry to temporarily let go of the pains. Every beginning has its end like every dawn has its dusk. It's something we can't control, something we had to live up.
It's over. He's gone. But life has to go on. Goodbye doesn't always mean forever. There will always be a place and time where questions will be answered, words will be spoken, letters will be read, poems will be recited in the night, songs will be sung in harmony, love will be expressed in solitude and promises will be fulfilled. Somewhere. Somehow. Someday.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Thoughts about being Single in the Metro...
Picture this, Im in my mid 20's, a graduate of one of the biggest and oldest state univeristy in the country not to mention I graduated with full honors - cum laude,and currently working with one of the top fortune 100 multinational companies in the metro's elite bussiness community and, yes Im living life to the fullest by savoring freedom and independence....
All of my friends adore me,most of your enemies envies how I live my life and because of good genes and linage I may proudly say that Im simply cut above the rest in terms of physical attributes.
But - My biggest stumbling block is the harsh reality that I am still SINGLE in this age where having sex and having a relationship is as simple as like getting burger on your favirite fastfood joint - FAST and EASY!Even with this statistics on getting laid and having someone to be mushy with its really quit mind-boggling for me to know that with all the billions of people in this planet yet NO one seem to fit the shoe to be my one and only beloved!
Yes, I do have my lion share on the flirting game, I have had loads of time to test my prowess when it comes to dating guys but why the heck am I still alone and single?
Is there anyone out there who could catch my fancy and break my hibernation on love? Help me please!
Picture this, Im in my mid 20's, a graduate of one of the biggest and oldest state univeristy in the country not to mention I graduated with full honors - cum laude,and currently working with one of the top fortune 100 multinational companies in the metro's elite bussiness community and, yes Im living life to the fullest by savoring freedom and independence....
All of my friends adore me,most of your enemies envies how I live my life and because of good genes and linage I may proudly say that Im simply cut above the rest in terms of physical attributes.
But - My biggest stumbling block is the harsh reality that I am still SINGLE in this age where having sex and having a relationship is as simple as like getting burger on your favirite fastfood joint - FAST and EASY!Even with this statistics on getting laid and having someone to be mushy with its really quit mind-boggling for me to know that with all the billions of people in this planet yet NO one seem to fit the shoe to be my one and only beloved!
Yes, I do have my lion share on the flirting game, I have had loads of time to test my prowess when it comes to dating guys but why the heck am I still alone and single?
Is there anyone out there who could catch my fancy and break my hibernation on love? Help me please!
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Falling In Love !
FALLING IN LOVE It is a mystery why we fall in love... It is a mystery how it happens, It is a mystery when it comes, It is a mystery why some love fails. You can analyze this mystery and look for reason and causes But you will never do anymore than take the life out of experience Just as life itself is more than the sum of bones and muscles And electrical impulses in the body Love is more than the sum of interest and attractions And commonalities the two people share. And just as life itselfes is a gift that comes And goes in its own time So too, the comming of love must be taken As unfathomable gift That cannot be questioned in itys ways. Sometimes, hopefully At least once in your life The gift of love will come to you in full power And you will take hold of it and celebrate it In inexpressible beauty This is a dream we all share. More often, it will come and take hold of you celebrate you for a brief moment And then move on... When this happen to young people They too often try to grasp the love And hold it to them Refusing to see that it is a gift that is freely given And a gift that justb freely moves away. When they fall out of love Or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving They try desperatly to reclaim the love that is lost Rather than accepting the gift for what it was Then ... moving on. They want answeres where there are no answers They want to know what is wrong with them That makes the other person no longer love them Or they try to get their lover to change Thinking that if some small things were different Love will bloom again They blame their circumstances And say that if they go far away and start a new life together Their love will grow. They try anything to give meaning to what has happened But there is no meaning beyond the love itself And until they accept its own mysterious ways they live in a sea .. of misery You need to know this about love And to accept it, you need to treat What it brings to you with kindness If you find yourself in love With someone who does not love you Be gentle with yourself There is nothing wrong with you Love just didnt choose to rest in the other person's heart. If you find someone else in love with you And you dont love him Feel honored that love came and called on your door But gently refuse the gift you cannot return. DO NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE. DO not cause pain How you deal with love is how love deal with you And all our hearts feel the same pains and joys Even if our lives and ways are different If you fall in love with another And he falls in love with you And then love chooses to leave Do not try to reclaim it or assess blame let it go There is a reason and there is a meaning You will know...in time. Remember that you dont choose love Love chooses you All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery When it comes to your life Feel the way it feels you to overflowing Then reach out and give it away Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you Give it to others who seem poor in spirit Give it to the world around you anyway you can. This is where many lovers go wrong Having been so long without love They understand love only...as a need They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled with love And they begin to look at love as something that flows to them Rather than from them The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing But as their love cools They revert to seeing their love as a need They cease to be someone who generates love And instead become soemone who seeks love that it is a gift And can be made to grow Only by ... giving it away REMEMBER this...and keep it in your heart Love has its own time, its own season And its reason for comming and going You cannot bribe or coerce it Or reason it for staying You can Only embrace its warmth and glow it when it arrives And give it away when it comes to you But if it chooses to leave from your heart Or from the heart of your lover Ther is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do Love has always been and will always be ...a MYSTERY. And when we close our eyes and listen to the echoes of our hearts We will know that love never left us It will always be there in our hearts Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life. IF U KEEP YOUR HEART OPEN IT WILL COME AGAIN!!
PS:
This is dedicated to my Bhe
PS:
This is dedicated to my Bhe
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